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Emotional Intelligence

Why It Can Matter More Than IQ

By Daniel Goleman

(48)

| Mass Market Paperback | 9780747528302

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Book Description

Is IQ destiny? Not nearly as much as we think. This fascinating and persuasive program argues that our view of human intelligence is far too narrow, ignoring a crucial range of abilities that matter immensely in terms of how we do in life.

Drawing on groundbreaking brain and behavioral reseContinue

Is IQ destiny? Not nearly as much as we think. This fascinating and persuasive program argues that our view of human intelligence is far too narrow, ignoring a crucial range of abilities that matter immensely in terms of how we do in life.

Drawing on groundbreaking brain and behavioral research, Daniel Goleman shows the factors at work when people of high IQ flounder and those of modest IQ do well. These factors add up to a different way of being smart -- one he terms "emotional intelligence." This includes self-awareness and impulse control, persistence, zeal and self-motivation, empathy and social deftness.

These are the qualities that mark people who excel in life, whose relationships flourish, who are stars in the workplace. Lack of emotional intelligence can sabotage the intellect and ruin careers. Perhaps the greatest toll is on children, for whom risks include depression, eating disorders, unwanted pregnancies, aggressiveness and crime.

But the news is hopeful. Emotional intelligence is not fixed at birth, and the author shows how its vital qualities can be nurtured and strengthened in all of us. And because the emotional lessons a child learns actually sculpt the brain's circuitry, he provides guidance as to how parents and schools can best use this window of opportunity in childhood. The message of this eye-opening program is one we must take to heart: the true "bell curve" for a democracy must measure emotional intelligence.

Critics

  • Selling with Emotional Intelligence By Daniel Goleman

    Sales might be the last place you'd look for useful advice on better relationships, but face it everyone is engaged in sales of some sort. It takes more than technical know-how to sell your products or ideas, and Mitch Anthony's Selling with Emotiona ... (read full critics)

    bookpage published on Tue, 14 Sep 2010

  • Working with Emotional Intelligence By Daniel Goleman

    The psychology of money and workTwenty years ago, personal finance writer Andrew Tobias produced a best-selling book with a boastful title. It was called The Only Investment Guide You'll Ever Need. Rather than scare away the competition with that all ... (read full critics)

    bookpage published on Mon, 13 Sep 2010

7 Reviews

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  • 1 person find this helpful

    EQ is something everyody talkes about, but it seems to mean if you can control your temper. It seems a person who lose temper is with low EQ. But, it is obviously not what the author mean.

    The author first put Aristotle's challenge as below:

    Anyone can become angry - that is easy. But to ... (continue)

    EQ is something everyody talkes about, but it seems to mean if you can control your temper. It seems a person who lose temper is with low EQ. But, it is obviously not what the author mean.

    The author first put Aristotle's challenge as below:

    Anyone can become angry - that is easy. But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose, and in the right way - this is not so easy.

    – Aristotle, The Nicomachean Ethics.

    I really love this! It is not about how not to angry, but angry properly. It is not to avoid your negative emotions, but on recongizing and managing them.

    There are 5 areas of EQ:

    1. Know One's own emotions (self awareness of emotions and internal realities)
    2. Manage emotions (the capacity to sooth oneself, to shake off anxiety, gloom or irritability)
    3. Motivate Oneself
    4. Recognizing emotions in others (empathy)
    5. Handling relationships

    Physically, we must aware that actually the scientist know very little about how emotion works. The brief description is that the sense organs will pass signal to Thalamus where is tranlsated into language. At the same time the signal will transmitted to Amygdala, our fear center as well in a quicker transmission. That's why we can has fear response before we are even aware of it.

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    Samsara said on Nov 12, 2008 about the Paperback edition | Add your feedback

  • 1 person find this helpful

    Rubbish. I usually hate this stuff, but I thought I would give it a chance.
    Abandoned as soon as I read that the word 'emotion' is supposed to come from the Latin verb 'motere', which unfortunately is.. nonexistent.
    At least check your facts before writing a book, man! :-)

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    leo said on May 6, 2008 | Add your feedback

  • A scientific book disclosing the ground-breaking topic that emotional intelligence may be a more telling predictor of a person's success than IQ scores.

    A long and difficult but rewarding book. With a lot of scientific research data and statistics (though some of them may be a bit misleading, ma ... (continue)

    A scientific book disclosing the ground-breaking topic that emotional intelligence may be a more telling predictor of a person's success than IQ scores.

    A long and difficult but rewarding book. With a lot of scientific research data and statistics (though some of them may be a bit misleading, many of them sound very objective with control), it explains the importance of emotional literacy. In what aspects do we need to pay attention so that emotion will not overwhelm our brain? At what age does the brain mature and what is the optimal time for teaching emotional programme?

    Emotions are the essence that helps us to survive our revolutionary history, but nowadays, uncontrollable emotions are the reasons for the increasing murder, rape, violence and divorce rates. It also accounts for why some people can excel but others not, though with similar intellectual aptitudes.

    Emotional Intelligence calls for self-awareness on one's feeling, delay-gratification, self-control, empathy with others, looking from others' perspective, persistence at low times, conflict-resolving skills and many other things.

    While the optimal time for emotional learning is childhood, psychologists and psychotherapy indicate that our brains are subject to change. The lessons learnt need to be practiced repeatedly, because the brain requires the response to be imprinted in it for immediate reaction which does not route through the rational mind.

    ANGER: "escalating anger as 'a sequence of provocations, each triggering an excitatory reaction that dissipates slowly.'"

    BALM FOR ANGER: 1. mitigating information to challenge the thoughts that trigger the anger; 2. cooling off and waiting the adrenal surge decreases

    FOUL MOOD/THINKING: "The mental resources expended on one cognitive task - the worrying - simply detract from the resources available for processing other information; if we are preoccupied by worries that we're going to flunk the test we're taking, we have that much less attention to expend on figuring out the answers. Our worries become self-fulfilling prophecies, propelling us toward the very disaster they predict."

    BALM FOR WORRY: 1. self-awareness to catch the worrisome episodes as near their beginning as possible - ideally as soon as or just after the fleeting catastrophic image triggers the worry-anxiety cycle; 2. practice the relaxation method daily

    "People who are optimistic see a failure as due to something that can be changed so that they can succeed next time around, while pessimists take the blame for failure, ascribing it to some lasting characteristic they are helpless to change."

    "The problem for a marriage begins when one or another spouse feels flooded almost continually. Then the partner feels overwhelmed by the other partner, is always on guard for an emotional assault or injustice, becomes hypervigilant for any sign of attack, insult, or grievance, and is sure to overreact to even the least sign... the flooded partner has come to think the worst of the spouse virtually all the time, reading everything she does in a negative light.. starts to see any and all problems in the marriage as severe and impossible to fix, since the flooding itself sabotages any attempt to work things out."

    NONDEFENSIVE LISTENING: "it is possible for a couple to purposely edit what they hear, ignoring the hostile and negative parts of the exchange - the nasty tone, the insult, the contemptuous criticism - to hear the main message. For this feat it helps if partners can remember to see each other's negativity as an implicit statement of how important the issue is to them - a demand for attention to be paid."

    "What typically escalates to conflict begins with not communicating, making assumptions, and jumping to conclusions, sending a 'hard' message in ways that make it tough for people to hear what you're saying."

    　
    Characteristics of the emotional mind:

    categorical: thinking everything in black and white

    personalized: perceived events with a bias centering on oneself

    self-confirming: suppressing or ignoring memories or facts that would undermine its beliefs and seizing on those that support it

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    Candy said on Jan 5, 2012 about the Hardcover edition | Add your feedback

  • Boring. It's really simple stuff compared with Eric Berne's Transactional Analysis that I highly recommend.

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    Barbara ABP said on Oct 11, 2009 about the Others edition | Add your feedback

  • An evil book

    This book is not about (emotional) intelligence, but about emotional correctness. It has helped establish a new norm for 'acceptable behavior' that is restrictive and intolerant.

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    Michiel said on May 19, 2008 about the Paperback edition | Add your feedback

  • An interesting book that introduced the theme of Emotional Intelligence. It is probably the first book that mentioned this term and begin the discussion that men should not only aware of Intelligent Quotient but also the development of self-emotion. Read it in Secondary School.

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    Jackie said on Aug 11, 2007 about the Paperback edition | Add your feedback

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