Members of the Harvard Negotiation Project--which brought you the mega-bestseller Getting to YES--show you how to handle your most difficult conversations with confidence and skill. Whether you're dealing with an underperforming employee, ...
disagreeing with your spouse about money or child-rearing, negotiating with a difficult client, or simply saying "no," or "I'm sorry," or "I love you," we attempt or avoid difficult conversations every day. Based on fifteen years of research at the Harvard Negotiation Project, Difficult Conversations walks you through a step-by-step proven approach to having your toughest conversations with less stress and more success. You will learn: how to start the conversation without defensiveness why what is not said is as important as what is ways of keeping and regaining your balance in the face of attacks and accusations how to decipher the underlying structure of every difficult conversationFilled with examples from everyday life, Difficult Conversations will help you on the job, at home, or out in the world. It is a book you will turn to again and again for advice, practical skills, and reassurance."Does this book deliver on [its] promise of an effective way through sticky situations, whether 'with your baby sitter or your biggest client'? It does."-- The New York Times"These talented communicators blend a daunting array of disciplines into highly readable and practical advice."-- Booklist"Brilliant. . . . I've already re-read most of it. I'm using it. What more could a reader ask?"-- Tom Peters"Emotional Intelligence applied to life's tough moments."-- Daniel Goleman
Most difficult conversations are the compounds of1) we believe we know the truth so we are right2) we guess the intention of the other parties3) the other party is to be blamed4) suppress our feelings in professional communication5) Identity: who weMost difficult conversations are the compounds of 1) we believe we know the truth so we are right 2) we guess the intention of the other parties 3) the other party is to be blamed 4) suppress our feelings in professional communication 5) Identity: who we are and how we see ourselves.
This book helps us to address these misconceptions and find a way out 1) understand their stories. This does not mean you have to agree. In addition, being right is not the purpose of any conversation. 2) good intention may also hurt. Disentangle impact and intent 3) analyze what contributes to the mess. All parties nevertheless have their own contribution. Common neglects include avoiding, unapproachable, intersection and problematic role assumptions 4) use "i feel" rather than accusing, judging or attributing. Feeling usually comes in a bundle. Anger is not only anger but with frustration. Joy includes happy and content. Don't evaluate, just share. 5) Identity: am I competent? am I a good person? am I worthy of love? become aware of your identity helps to explain your feelings. 6) be a listener, esp attentive to the aforementioned topics 7) remember you can't change people 8) present the issue as a Third Story, addressing the concerns of both parties without taking an stances. Just like a mediator.
Surprisingly, the discussions on Feeling and Identity are only good reading for our spiritual advancement! ...Continua Nascondi