Dealing with your ex-husband, who can't seem to show up reliably for weekends with the kids; navigating a workplace fraught with office politics or racial tensions; saying "I'm sorry" or "I love you".We all have difficult conversations, no matter ...
o matter how confident or competent we are. And too often, no matter what we try, things don't go well. Should you say what you're thinking and risk starting a fight? Swallow your views and feel like a doormat? Or should you let them have it? But--what if you're wrong?
Difficult Conversations shows you a way out of this dilemma; it teaches you how to handle even the toughest conversations more effectively and with less anxiety. Based on fifteen years of work at Harvard Negotiation Project and consultations with thousands of people, the authors answer the question: When people confront the conversations they dread the most, what works?
Difficult Conversations walks you through a proven, concrete, step-by-step approach for understanding and conducting tough conversations. It shows you how to get ready, how to start the conversations in ways that reduce defensiveness, and how to keep the conversation on a constructive track regardless of how the other person responds.
Whether you're dealing with your baby-sitter or biggest client, your boss or your brother-in-law, Difficult Conversations can help.
Most difficult conversations are the compounds of1) we believe we know the truth so we are right2) we guess the intention of the other parties3) the other party is to be blamed4) suppress our feelings in professional communication5) Identity: who weMost difficult conversations are the compounds of 1) we believe we know the truth so we are right 2) we guess the intention of the other parties 3) the other party is to be blamed 4) suppress our feelings in professional communication 5) Identity: who we are and how we see ourselves.
This book helps us to address these misconceptions and find a way out 1) understand their stories. This does not mean you have to agree. In addition, being right is not the purpose of any conversation. 2) good intention may also hurt. Disentangle impact and intent 3) analyze what contributes to the mess. All parties nevertheless have their own contribution. Common neglects include avoiding, unapproachable, intersection and problematic role assumptions 4) use "i feel" rather than accusing, judging or attributing. Feeling usually comes in a bundle. Anger is not only anger but with frustration. Joy includes happy and content. Don't evaluate, just share. 5) Identity: am I competent? am I a good person? am I worthy of love? become aware of your identity helps to explain your feelings. 6) be a listener, esp attentive to the aforementioned topics 7) remember you can't change people 8) present the issue as a Third Story, addressing the concerns of both parties without taking an stances. Just like a mediator.
Surprisingly, the discussions on Feeling and Identity are only good reading for our spiritual advancement! ...Continua Nascondi