Not so fast. These labels suggest that the behavior if such children is planned and intentional, and popular reward-and-punishment strategies are typically used to teach and motivate them to behave more appropriately. But for a significant number of these children, the standard approach doesn't always work. Such children are easily frustrated and extremely inflexible. They get "stuck" over seemingly simple requests, benign issues, and sudden changes in plans. They may be very anxious, irritable, and volatile. They may have difficulty telling you what they're frustrated about or thinking through potential solutions to problems. In clinical terms, they may be diagnosed with any of a variety of psychiatric disorders, including oppositional-defiant disorder, attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), Tourette's disorder, depression, and bipolar disorder. If this sounds like your child, you're probably feeling frustrated, overwhelmed, guilt-ridden, exhausted, and hopeless.
Now there is a new way for you, your child, and your entire family to find help. In this groundbreaking new book, Dr. Ross Greene, a child psychologist at Massachusetts General Hospital and Harvard Medical School, makes a compassionate argument that the difficulties of these children stem from developmental deficits in two critical skills: flexibility and frustration tolerance. He asserts that if such children could do well, they would.
Drawing upon recent advances in the neuroscience, Dr. Greene describes the factor that contribute to "inflexible-explosive" behavior in children and why the strategies that work for most children aren't as effective for inflexible-explosive children. Then, with the help of "snapshots" from the lives of children, parents, and teachers with whom he has worked over the years, Dr. Greene lays out a sensitive, practical, effective, systematic approach to helping these children at home and school, including:
reducing hostility and antagonism between the child and adult
anticipating situations in which the child is most likely to explode
creating an environment in which explosions are less likely to occur
focusing less on reward and punishment and more on communication and collaborative problem-solving
helping the child develop the self-regulation and thinking skills to be more flexible and handle frustration more adaptively
In Explosive Child, you'll find ways to regain your sanity and optimism and rebuild the confidence to handle your child's difficulties completely and lovingly. With Dr. Greene's compassionate, expert advice and insight, you and your child will rediscover newfound hope and a relationship you can both feel good about....Continua
This Collaborative Problem-SolvingI like the book because it clearly and explicitly brings in another possible way to deal with "inflexible, easily frustrated and explosive" children, other than the classic behavioral management techniques.
This Collaborative Problem-Solving (CPS) is a relatively humanistic approach in parenting children. I like the assumption behind CPS that "children will do well if they can".
This book works by giving step-by-step guidance on how to gently redirect the child from the verge of exploding an to a colaberative problem-solving mode. It serves as a useful guide for parents with inflexible, explosive and easily frustrated kids (yet, they're NOT oppositional, just as helpless as their parents)....Continua