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He's Just Not That Into You

The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys

By Greg Behrendt, Liz Tuccillo

(161)

| Hardcover | 9780689874741

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Book Description

He says:

Oh sure, they say they're busy. They say that they didn't have even a moment in their insanely busy day to pick up the phone. It was just that crazy. All lies. With the advent of cell phones and speed dialing, it is almost impossible not to call you. Sometimes I call people from my pants pocket when I don't even mean to. If I were into you, you would be the bright spot in my horribly busy day. Which would be a day that I would never be too busy to call you.

She says:

There is something great about knowing that my only job is to be as happy as I can be about my life, and feel as good as I can about myself, and to lead as full and eventful a life as I can, so that it doesn't ever feel like I'm just waiting around for some guy to ask me out. And most importantly, it's good for us all to remember that we don't need to scheme and plot, or beg anyone to ask us out. We're fantastic.

For ages women have come together over coffee, cocktails, or late-night phone chats to analyze the puzzling behavior of men.

He's afraid to get hurt again.
Maybe he doesn't want to ruin the friendship.
Maybe he's intimidated by me.
He just got out of a relationship.

Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo are here to say that -- despite good intentions -- you're wasting your time. Men are not complicated, although they'd like you to think they are. And there are no mixed messages.

The truth may be He's just not that into you.

Unfortunately guys are too terrified to ever directly tell a woman, "You're not the one." But their actions absolutely show how they feel.

He's Just Not That Into You -- based on a popular episode of Sex and the City -- educates otherwise smart women on how to tell when a guy just doesn't like them enough, so they can stop wasting time making excuses for a dead-end relationship.

Reexamining familiar scenarios and classic mindsets that keep us in unsatisfying relationships, Behrendt and Tuccillo's wise and wry understanding of the sexes spares women hours of waiting by the phone, obsessing over the details with sympathetic girlfriends, and hoping his mixed messages really mean "I'm in love with you and want to be with you."

He's Just Not That Into You is provocative, hilarious, and, above all, intoxicatingly liberating. It deserves a place on every woman's night table. It knows you're a beautiful, smart, funny woman who deserves better. The next time you feel the need to start "figuring him out," consider the glorious thought that maybe He's just not that into you. And then set yourself loose to go find the one who is.

6 Reviews

I bought this when I was away from home and started discussing the book with my roomie soon after we read some pages about the concept Liz and Greg are advocating: if he does not make you feel loved and treasured (or leaves you guessing his feeling about you), he's just not that into you. That sound ... (continue)

I bought this when I was away from home and started discussing the book with my roomie soon after we read some pages about the concept Liz and Greg are advocating: if he does not make you feel loved and treasured (or leaves you guessing his feeling about you), he's just not that into you. That sounded radical to me at first, but as I proceeded, things started to make sense.
I don't agree with everything Greg says, but ultimately I believe he's just going to the extremes sometimes to tell what he wants his reader to believe. To me what Greg says aren't rules, but some very useful guidelines. Greg wants things to be clear-cut, but women really can tolerate gray areas better (or, can't live without them) so I'd say they're just guidelines.
This is not a book telling women how we're going to have better relationship. It's all about the idea that since women deserve better people, they should not waste their time (and pretty) on guys that do not deserve their attention.
The whole idea is so liberating, and I'm going to lend this copy to my girlfriends who are still not over their ex-es yet while they deserve much better relationships.

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Ochya said on Jul 10, 2011 about the Others edition | Add your feedback

I sooooo wanted to read this book when it first came out, but after all these few years when I really get the chance to read it, I feel a little bit stupid. Reading those 'Q&A examples' is tedious, the main point and the only point the authors have to say is listed in the title and sub-title of each ... (continue)

I sooooo wanted to read this book when it first came out, but after all these few years when I really get the chance to read it, I feel a little bit stupid. Reading those 'Q&A examples' is tedious, the main point and the only point the authors have to say is listed in the title and sub-title of each chapter ALREADY, so why bother read those Q&A? they're just talking about the same thing over and over again......i started this book last night around 11 and I'm sure it will be done tonight.

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cazzy said on May 12, 2011 about the Others edition | Add your feedback

Funny beyond what I expected and easy to read, great subjects of discussion. I read it while I was in a relation so it's hard to judge the parts about being single or looking for a relationships, but I think you can relate to it wheter you're single or not.

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Robba said on Jul 28, 2010 about the Others edition | Add your feedback

I'm just not that into this book!

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Lindaaushk said on Jun 2, 2010 about the Others edition | Add your feedback

Premise: I find Sex & the City, Gossip girls and stuff like that extremely boring, trivial and mystifying, and it's not like I was expecting anything different when I saw this book (by two of the authors of the "4 spinsters' tales") in a bookshop, but I was leaving for a short trip, I ... (continue)

Premise: I find Sex & the City, Gossip girls and stuff like that extremely boring, trivial and mystifying, and it's not like I was expecting anything different when I saw this book (by two of the authors of the "4 spinsters' tales") in a bookshop, but I was leaving for a short trip, I thought I needed something light, and even though I imagined it would have been bad, I said to myself that I had to read it, at least, before denigrating it.
Now, the funny thing is that I hardly have anything to denigrate. Not because the book is good, but because it is so banal, so obvious, so useless that at the moment I turned one page I had already forgotten what I read in the one before. That is actually why I went to the trouble of writing a comment about it: it is the first time in my life I read something and I feel absolutely nothing! Even books by Alessandro Baricco, the experience (brrrr...) I find the closest to this one (they both talk about nothing, but at least Behrendt and Tuccillo don't get state funds to pursuit self-styled "cultural" programs... in fact their work is more honest), are to me outrageous or exhilarating (both, most of the times).
One good thing of this book is that one can become aware of the philosophical background of the Sex & the City way of life (like it or not, this is the way many women think, nowadays) without having to see the ugly nose of Sarah Jessica Parker or the hideous shape of her fat friend.
I cannot give a grade, obviously, but I'll let you guess the level of this reading by quoting one of its most powerful sentences:
You already have one asshole. You don't need another.
Ok, now I need a strong injection of Susan Sontag and Sylvia Plath!

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komorebi said on Mar 7, 2010 about the Paperback edition | Add your feedback

They attribute everything to "he's just not that into you" without giving insights into a man's mind / psychology. I want to read more about reasons and explanations, not the results.

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hermia said on Sep 20, 2009 about the Paperback edition | Add your feedback