Yes, this is the John Gray of Mars vs Venus, but this book is not about relationship, but personal growth.
I am quite suprised that John Gray was once a Christian monk who spend seven years in Swissland to connect with god. And I suppose that's why this book is a lot more spiritual than many other self-help book.
John has a very interesting idea on classification:
10 Love Tanks: God; Parents; Family, friends & FUN; Peers; Self-Love; Relationship and romance; Loving a dependent; Giving back to Community; Giving back to the world and Serving God
The most important point is that, if you find something missing in one of the tank, usually it is not a problem of this tank, but some other (previous) one are empty. So, for couples with problem with marriage, usually it is because they don't have enough self-love, fun, peer support, etc. Once they nourish themselves on these empty tanks, they will be loving again.
Twleve Negative Emotions: Anger, Sadness, Fear, Sorrow, Disappointment, Worry, Embarrasement, Jealousy, Hurt, Panic and Shame
Twelve Blocks: Blame, Depression, Anxiety, Indifference, Judgement, INdecision, Procrastination, Perfection, Resentment, Self-Pity, Condusion and Guilty.
One very important difference between the Negative emotions and blocks is that, negative emotions should be felt (so as to come back to our true self), while block should NOT be felt. To unstuck yourselves from the block, you need to process the negative emotion underneath.
Some great quotation:
1. Blame prevents you from taking responsibility for your life and affirm that you are powerless. When you make others or circumstances beyond your control responsible for how you feel about your past, present, or future, you are unable to create the changes you would like. As long as you hold on to blame, you forfeit the power to change your life.
2. There is a subtle distinction between surrender and submission. When we surrender, we are giving up our resistant to what is. We embrace what we have and accept what we cannot change. It does not mean that we stop wanting what we want. When we surrender, we are just making adjustment in our expectation of how soon we will get what we want. Surrender frees us from demanding what we need in a certain wrapping. SUrrender nurtures patience but does not preclude persistence and strength...Surrender frees us and open us up to receive waht we want in a variety of different ways... Through surreder, as we receive feedback from the world, we sometimes find out that our immediate requirements are unrealistic and we have to adjust. Adjustment does not mean we stop wanting. Instead, we accept what we have and keep thinking of what we realy want and how we can get it.
3. Imagine that you knew you were going to get a check in the mail for a million dollars. If you then got a lot of bills in themail, you wouldn't resist paying them.
But, whether you will accept this kind of meditation and healing methods, or if these skills work for you is something I am not sure....Continua