A pretty good book on parenting that worth regular re-reading.
Kids have different temperaments. If it does not match that of the parents, it is going to be a long struggle. This book is here to guide you to deal with spirited (i.e., positive term for difficult) children. These spirited temperament include:
1) intensive: remind him of his cues and let him know calming activities are available
2) persistent: looks for "yes"es with him
3) sensitive: talk about feelings and remind him of his cues for over-simulation
4) perceptive: talk about hoe you will get his attention
5) slow to adapt: let him know the agenda
A few key points:
1) use positive words. A misbehavior could be a virtue, e.g. persistence vs stubborn, perfection vs picky ...
2) communicate clearly and precisely
3) if tantrum was hit, find the triggers and solutions together
4) teach the children to describe the feelings in words
5) plan according to the temperaments. You don't expect an active to be peaceful for a 2-hr drive, do you?
6) Enjoy the rewards - hugs, kisses, candies all do