Fish gotta swim. Birds gotta fly. Bears, apparently, gotta steal hubcaps.

Animal habits, like the laws of nature themselves, tend to get a little twisted in the land of The Far Side. And thank goodness for that. Imagine how boring it would be to look at a calendar filled with animals doing what they normally do. Pigs wallowing. Sheep standing around. Cats sleeping. Crocodiles wrestling heavily tattooed Cajun guys. (Wait a minute! Get Marketing on the line. That could be big!)

Instead, within the tidy black borders of Far Side cartoons, animals get up to all manner of bizarre, entertaining, and decidedly hominoid activities. Dogs guzzle from garden hoses before roaming their territory, elephants use their tusks to roast marshmallows, adolescent deer dress as hunters for Halloween. This is stuff you just don't get on Animal Planet.

Each weekly spread of this spiral-bound, lay-flat desk calendar presents a different exercise in animal absurdity from the archives of The Far Side. That's 53 glimpses into The Secret Lives of Animals-enough to make anyone wonder, "Just what the hell is that cat of mine doing when I'm off at work all day?"

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