Like most fugitives who have vowed to investigate the lives of the Baudelaire orphans, I have always found a book to be invaluable in my research. The book you hold in your hands can be thrown into the mouth of a charging rhinoceros, placed underneath the leg of a wobbly table, or used to write down any number of valuable observations, such as the following:
My sister is driving me stark raving mad.
That waiter appears to be an associate of a notorious villain. and/or
My pen is running out of i
Almost every page in this book includes shocking illustrations and unsettling quotations from A Series of Unfortunate Events. In their company, even the most harmless notations will become notorious, a word which here means commonly and sadly perceived to be of shadowy and somewhat sinister importance, such as my own work on the Baudelaire case, from which you should distance yourself immediately and permanently.
With all due respect,