Came across this book by accident, but what a find. My buddy and I took a long road trip down the West Coast of the US and before we left he downloaded a whole bunch of audiobooks for the car. Some were questionable, but this turned out to be a gem.
I think that many people will find elements of their relationship described in this book. It's amazing how the author can take a situation, and help the men and women listening to the book understand the underlying needs of their partner which are causing them to behave the way they do, or even learn about themselves when they don't always realize why they do the things they do. She also provides practical advice to men on how to satisfy their partners needs once they understand them.
The focal point of the book is the focus on women's three basic needs: They need to feel safe, connected, and valued. Guys, I know this may sound wishy washy to some of you, but trust me, you should read this book. The author is straight up and practical, and doesn't talk down or demean men in any way. And if you're looking for what YOU get out of it, the author points out that the more women's core needs are satisfied, the less behaviours they will exhibit that men typically find annoying. So there ya go. And if you love your partner, wouldn't you want to make her feel as loved and cared for as you can?
I should caution about one thing. The author describes situations and explains how the male sees things and his motivation and how the female sees things are her motivation. Now in my experience, often this is bang on. But she never mentions that this is only a guideline. By this I mean as you're listening to the book, in some sections, a man listening to the book may feel he's fitting more into the women's needs and typical actions described, and a woman may feel in the man's shoes. In fact, my friend said that for him the situation was quite often the reverse of what the author was saying in terms of the genders (although in other parts of the book, the gender viewpoints were as she described). I would read the book with an open mind and the willingness to look at the male/female descriptions with more flexibility, and try to identify in your relationship which elements you are fitting into. After all, even though they may often manifest themselves in different ways than for women, feeling safe, connected, and valued are ALSO just as important needs for men! The bottom line is that you should read this book as it is fantastic for breaking new ground in your relationship on things you never thought could change, as long as you read it knowing that the gender roles the author describes may sometimes be shaded or even reversed....Continua