Hamlet
Will you play upon
this pipe?

Guildenstern
My lord, I cannot.

Hamlet
I pray you.

Guildenstern
Believe me, I cannot.

Hamlet
I do beseech you.

Guildenstern
I know no touch of it, my lord.

Hamlet
'Tis as easy as lying: govern these ventages with
your lingers and thumb, give it breath with your
mouth, and it will discourse most eloquent music.
Look you, these are the stops.

Guildenstern
But these cannot I command to any utterance of
harmony; I have not the skill.

Hamlet
Why, look you now, how unworthy a thing you make of
me! You would play upon me; you would seem to know
my stops; you would pluck out the heart of my
mystery; you would sound me from my lowest note to
the top of my compass: and there is much music,
excellent voice, in this little organ; yet cannot
you make it speak. 'Sblood, do you think I am
easier to be played on than a pipe? Call me what
instrument you will, though you can fret me, yet you
cannot play upon me.