Nota bene - I published this review elsewhere on February 11, 2016
I have a read a number of captivity narratives and this one is by far the most profound, insightful, empowering, and aware.
It still haunts me in a way that few works have. Perhaps it is her candor. Perhaps it is her intelligence. Perhaps it is her steadfast will to honour humanity, in herself and others. All others. Perhaps it is the moving power of self-love and the belief in one's own self.
To thine own self be true. Few words are as meaningful to those struggling to find themselves after experiencing oppression and trauma.
She teaches us that that can be enough. If all the world is lost, there is still that inner spark: precious, inspiring, definitive and loving.
If you believe in yourself, sometimes that can be enough.
Natascha Kampusch's "full story of [her] ... abduction" contains not only the harrowing, agonizing account of her survival but reveals how her resilience, pragmatism, observational powers all contributed to her belief in herself and which eventually manufactured the opportunity for her courageous escape.
To provide a glimpse into the elegant beauty of this young woman’s perspicacious mind, let me recount one moment in the memoir.
There is a key moment years into her captivity when, starved of human feeling, she asked her captor for a hug.
It seems so irrational and counter-intuitive that she would want this of the very person who violated her. But the human mind and heart know truth and love. In her request there is the brilliance of thousands of years of human evolution and survival, all working quietly, yet powerfully, deep within her.
That request is nothing short of how the subconscious works: in desiring a hug, physical contact being so essential for human beings, it also in addition to giving Natascha some solace and connection to humanity did something remarkably similar to/for her captor. For in being asked to hug her – a request conveying nothing more than simple humanity from him and meaning that he was actually humanly capable of it- his own humanity was validated and confirmed. Is this not a message so desperately needed in our world? That those considered evil monsters could be transformed into loving beings by being themselves loved?
The likes of the great Alice Miller taught decades ago that people like Hitler and Stalin were themselves abused children, whose feelings never were validated. That is why they took their vengeance out on the rest of the world, to get back at their own abusive parents. This is how sociopaths and psychopaths learn to operate in the world, by predation. And this is what probably happened in the case of Natscha's own captor.
Natascha seems to intuitively have known this, just like she had come to learn before her abduction about the spate (or rings?) of other abductions that immediately preceded her own, as though she knew.
Could it be that in the act of reaching out to her captor she was unwittingly causing the effects of trauma he experienced at the hands of abusive parents to thaw? Was that reaching out to him in effect the first step towards his own unravelling as a captor, freeing him to move into a sense of self-knowledge and self-love? I believe so. It is a fascinating possibility. If it is the case, it reveals how wrong punishment is for the long-term wellness of all societies.
But there is more here, the author shows herself-in telling her story-to do so in a non-re-victimizing manner, non-exploitative and non self-demeaning way and in embracing her own humanity (and others) she blossoms into a powerful, breath-taking advocate for all victims-at all levels. She dismisses labels like Stockholm Syndrome as overly reductive and simplistic and makes a very convincing case of it, thank you very much.
If you are expecting a book of binarisms, of polarized thinking and dichotomies where there are clever and neat little categories like bad and good, hero and villain, black and white, etc., go watch propaganda, however persuasively, entertainingly attired and presented-this is a nuanced work that exposes deep hypocrisies in her (and our) world. She tells us, "Nothing is all black or all white. And nobody is all good or all evil.” This is higher order and very perceptive thinking (Mellissa Fung’s ‘Under an Afghan Sky’ also touches upon this recognition). And society would do well to learn this lesson so that we can begin to fashion a new social language of honesty and humanity and in doing so to prevent in the future the poisonous circumstances that lead to all captivities and enslavements, at all levels.
...Continua[Lettura in corso] impressionante il numero di situazioni diverse che una bambina di 10 anni ha dovuto imparare a gestire. Impressionante la forza di raccontarle.
p.9 「只要我真心想要，只要我相信自己做得到，任何事都能辦到。」
p.15 「不要隨便落淚」是她的座右銘，堅強一點無妨，這樣才能在這個世界上堅守立場。
p.21 在一個僅有外表互動的世界裡，這種被注意和被漠視的情緒起伏逐漸侵蝕掉我的自尊心，我學會表演，讓自己成為目光的焦點，並且努力維持這種狀態。
p.28 她和爸爸爭著買最漂亮的衣服給我，在週末帶我出去玩，但我不想要禮物，那個年紀的我只需要無條件的愛和支持，這些他們卻都給不了。
p.30 畢竟她是大人，而大人總是對的。
p.32 「敏感」這個詞最傷人，人不可以太敏感。我很驚訝這個詞在今天有如此正面的意義，在我小的時候，這個詞是一種侮辱，用來取笑軟弱的人。當時我很希望能有軟弱的權利，後來發現，被媽媽強逼出來的韌性或許救了我一命。
p.56 直到他把房門關上，錯覺才像泡沫似的應聲爆裂。
p.60 現在我知道，讓犯人隨時接觸燈光是過去經常使用的凌虐手段，有些國家現在還這麼做。植物持續接觸強光會枯萎，動物則會死亡。對人來說，這是殘酷的凌虐，比施以身體的暴力更能達到目的。它嚴重破壞生物節奏和睡眠模式，讓身體就像體力耗盡般地癱瘓，只要幾天時間，大腦便無法正常運作。另一種殘酷的凌虐方式也同樣有效，那就是噪音轟炸，比如不斷刮動的電風扇片聲。
p.64 在我看來，情況很詭異：這個男人滿足我所有的要求，雖然他讓我變得一無所有。
p.80 研究顯示，精神或肢體有障礙的人，以及與家人不親密的孩子，是歹徒加害的高危險群。程度「次之」的，就是像我在三月二日早上所呈現的模樣：膽戰心驚、剛哭過、沒有安全感、頭一次自己走路上學、每一小步都帶著遲疑。
p.96 但現在，我卻緊緊擁抱這個滴答聲，像個溺水的人緊緊抓住身邊的浮木，只求從水面上吸到一點空氣。
p.116 被監禁的犯人表示，處在感官刺激被剝奪的環境中，對他們的影響尤其深遠。剝奪感官刺激會影響大腦的功能，干擾自主神經系統，將一個原本自信滿滿的人，變成一個絕對的依賴者，在黑暗和隔離期間，很容易被身邊的任何人牽著鼻子走。對於自願處在此種環境的成人來說，情況也是如此。
p.116 四十八個小時的單獨監禁之後，他們全部都失去執行簡單工作的能力，當被要求說出一個以F開頭的字時，沒有一個人答得出來，有一個人失去百分之三十六的記憶，有四個人比關以前更容易受操控。出來之後，他們對第一個遇到的人所說的每件事情都深信不疑。
p.121 後來，我真的告訴他我心中的想法，我看著他說：「我原諒你，因為每個人都會犯錯。」這樣做，或許會有人覺得很奇怪、很病態，畢竟他所犯的「錯」，是以我的自由換來的，但這是唯一正確的做法，我必須學習跟這個人相處，否則無法活下去。
p.127 我深深地吸了一口氣，一遍又一遍，像一個快要渴死的人，在最後一秒鐘來到了救命的綠洲，整個頭栽到救命的水裡一樣。
p.136 畢竟是他綁架我、把我關在地牢裡的始作俑者，這種人通常不會考慮被害者的需求，這就好像他一面勒著對方的脖子，一面問他：「躺著還舒服嗎？勒的力道會不會太重？」但當時我完全沒有這麼想，小小的心靈裡充滿了感激，不可置信綁匪竟然這麼大費周章，只為了讓我高興。
p.142 今天我相信，沃夫岡之所以犯下如此重大的惡行，只是為了創造一個屬於他自己的完美世界。在這裡，有一個人是為了他而存在。或許，他因為無法經由正常的管道達到目的，因此決定用暴力手段塑造一個為他而活的人。基本上，他要的東西與一般人無異：愛、認同與溫暖。
p.180 沒有一樣東西是全白或全黑的，也沒有一個人堪稱全無瑕疵或十惡不赦，當然，這同樣可以套用在那名綁匪身上。有些話實在是大家不想從綁匪被害人的口中聽到，因為當初定義十分明確的善惡等概念便會從此遭到顛覆。換句話說，他們只願意接受這世界非黑即白的觀念，並認為如此才不至於迷失方向。可是這世界偏偏很多灰色地帶。每當我討論這件事時，總會從許多人臉上看到疑惑和排斥，可是這些人之中又有誰親臨現場？既然如此，又怎能奢望他們設身處地的為我著想！於是可以看到他們失去了同理心，不在意我的命運，並且轉而否定我。總之，未能深入洞察我囚禁生活複雜性的那些人，通常只用到這幾個簡單的字眼：「斯德哥爾摩症候群」（Stockholm Syndrome），即斷然否定我判斷自己經驗的能力。
p.182 接近綁匪並不是一種疾病，在犯罪體制中弄出一套保護裝置，好讓常態化的生活不受干擾，也不算是什麼症候群。相反的，它是在無法逃脫的情況下衍生的一種生存策略，而且總比動輒把罪犯歸類為噬血狂魔，以及把被害人歸類成無助的羔羊等做法，更貼近真正的現實面。可是，社會上卻總是拒絕往更深更遠處去看。
p.319 每當我描繪的綁匪圖像開始出現一些和他們原本想像有所落差時，他們便會把臉撇開，來個眼不見為淨，每當善與惡的範疇開始瓦解，或是每當他們面對「惡魔的化身也有一張人臉」這樣的事實時，就會讓他們渾身不舒服。
...Continua
