How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie is about communication skills and leadership. It’s an interesting guide about the interpersonal relationship, written in simple words and built on a few pillars. By implementing them you might succeed in your daily life and career. So, if you want to influence people and be a leader this book is essential. At this point it’s worth to say that it is not about manipulation, it is rather about improving your emotional intelligence. Next, if you are the more experienced person you might treat the book as a kind of review of your communication skills, however, if you perceive yourself as a poor communicator and a weak influencer this book might turn your world upside down.
Anyway, the interesting fact is that the book was originally written in 1936 and who knew that something applicable so long ago would be so useful in today’s age. The book is divided into 4 parts which are:
1. Fundamental techniques in handling people
2. 6 ways to make people like you
3. How to win people to your way of thinking
4. How to change people without giving offensive or arousing resentment
Nevertheless, I think that there are 9 takeaways worth mentioning in this review and these are:
1. Talk in terms of the other person’s interests, so the key to this concept is putting yourself in another person’s perspective. It’s about seeing through their eyes, seeing what they want and learning how to align what they want. For instance, if you’d like to convince somebody to something, tell him why it would be great for him not for you. By doing that you have a higher chance to get their attention and acceptance.
2. Give honest and sincere appreciation which is something opposite to using flattery. Don’t ask somebody a favour just after making compliments, don’t expect anything in return. Being nice and kind is really great.
3. Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly. The major point here is exchanging “but” for “and”. So, for example, if your child has just brought a high mark in math by, simultaneously got a lower mark in English don’t tell him that he made a great job, but should catch up with English. Separate these to points clearly by talking about something else.
4. If you are wrong admit it emphatically and without hesitation. If you did it right you would be surprised how the other person, all of a sudden, becomes on your side. He would even make some excuses for you. Avoid arguments.
5. Talk about your own mistakes before criticising the other person. If you know that the idea of somebody else is wrong, tell it honestly and support your statement with your own experience. Do not just tell that something is wrong.
6. Let the other person save his face, which means that if someone made a mistake or they’re wrong never do it in front of a group of people. The other rule is to make your statement responsively and allow the other person to conclude on his own. Never attack.
7. Get the other person saying “Yes, Yes” immediately. Basically speaking it about receiving a few yeses before asking your big-deal question. For instance, if you’d like somebody to accept your project ask him a few questions that should be answered “yes”. Next, when you get a general alignment with your speaker ask you a major question.
8. Let the other person feel that the idea is his own. As people don’t like to feel that they’re being sold something or to admit they’re wrong...(if you like to read my full review please visit my blog https://leadersarereaders.blog/how-to-win-friends-and-influence-people/)
I read it as a recommendation to improve communication effectiveness in my work. I have to say that the title scared me at the beginning (making friends?) but it's easy to read and the examples provided, though a little bit sales oriented and old-fashioned, give you good hints of how humans perceive the information either wrong or write with a minor change of approach. Worth reading and trying to map to your daily interactions with colleagues, bossess and people who report to you....Continua
I took me more than 2 months in order to finish this book. At the beginning I was re-reading the chapters I already read but with time I stop doing it and as with every book that is not literature it took me really a LOT of time in order to finish it.
I will recommend because even it points out usual behaviors sometimes I have been caught thinking so that's why that person behave like that....Continua
The book is very good but is not worth reading. It is better you download a synopsis from the internet.
Why? Because the book is no more then a list of advices.
This book has been written in 1936 and if it's still on print there must be a reason. Somehow, it could be considered the grandfather of all the "self-improvement" books - especially aimed at organizational behaviors. It's basically well written commonsense, enriched with many examples from biographies of famous people. In fact one of the reason of interest for reading it now lies exactly in the fact that it has been written almost 80 years ago....Continua