CRYSTAL: You're going to name your baby after a shiny rock? Hey, everybody has money troubles, but you can't be that desperate. Show a little dignity.
DOUG: You can always count on a guy named Doug...to bore you to death. He'll be the only kid in the first grade to declare his ambition to sell life insurance.
JACKSON: Unless the father's name is Jack, this name will make no sense to anybody. If the father's name is Jack, what is he? Some kind of egomaniac? Muhammed is the most popular name in the world, and i have yet to meet a Muhammedson. Get over yourself, Jack!
LACEY: A word most often paired with "undergarment." For most men, Lacey brings to mind Victoria's Secret catalogs and half-naked models...oh, and now your baby.
MELODY: Now I know you are thinking of the beauty of melody and how your little girl will embody all of this joy and grace. But not all melodies are beautiful. In fact, some are downright annoying. Take "Its a Small World After All" or "Macarena." They're melodies. Likely nickname: Smelody.
Before expectant parents finally settle on a name for the baby, they'd better consult Narter's tongue-in-cheek guide. "Oh, I didn't think of that," they're likely to say. And so the never-ending search for the perfect name continues......Continua